farewell, creepy cat things

I had my last real day of work at the cat den this week. Hopefully, the next time I'm there will be the last and it will only be an hour or so.

I thought I'd do one final post showcasing the weird cat paraphernalia hanging out around the office/house/cat den.

cat. in a box. on a scale. explanation needed, but I don't have it.

um, okay...

that's a lot of fake cats for one shelf.

ihc and chm

(i hate cats and cats hate me)

I was sitting where I was sitting...and the cat (Tiki is what they call it) got on the desk and stood on my papers to eat out of its bowl, completely disregarding my personal space. That made me mad. Then, it walked to the other side of the desk and stared at me like it was going to kill me. That made me uneasy until I remembered that I am me and it's a cat and that I am big and it is small. That made me happy.

As I was adding some digital enhancements to this photo, I realized that I have taken entirely too many cat pictures lately for somebody with such a disdain for cats. I don't want anybody getting the wrong idea about me and cats, so at that moment I took a vow that this will be the last cat picture of Tiki that I take... unless it does something picture-worthy, like a front hand-stand or points a gun at me.

my lungs hate me

I've been trying to capture the air quality in the cat den. The perfect opportunity presented itself the other day.

This is what the air surrounding my desk looked like for about a minute or so after I sat down and stirred up the grossness that resides in the chair.

Note: The particles in this picture were not digitally added. This is real-life, people.

wishes do come true

I'll never forget the day the cat lady told me that she would prefer if I never came back again and had hoped that I was out of her life forever. It was last Friday. Friday the 13th. She told me over the phone, and as I was driving over to her place that afternoon I was wishing that she would lock me out so I would never have to breathe stale cat again. Unfortunately, she didn't. I never gave up hope that one day it could happen though.

Today when I drove up in front of the officw I noticed the door on the gate surrounding the office was closed. The door is never closed. My heart skipped a beat at what that might mean. I walked up and turned the knob. The door was locked. She locked me out.

back in the cat den: part deux

Some things the cat lady has told me this week:

"You can do your exam in the street until somebody lets you in."

"I thought you were out of my life forever."

"You are going to give me another stroke or heart attack, and I am going to die today in this chair."

"I would prefer if you never came back."


Note: I think I may be addicted to posting things on this blog. I apologize, but I will not stop....so maybe I don't apologize. Yeah, I take that apology back.

back in the cat den

As you may know from my dramatic facebook status, I have been working back in the cat den for a couple of days. Today it struck me that my phone has a camera. So, I captured the creature in its habitat.

I was going to take a picture of crazy cat lady, but I thought that would be inappropriate.

The pictures didn't quite speak for themselves, so I've added a couple helpful arrows so you will know where your attention should be directed.

I hope this gives you a clearer idea of how close this cat gets to me, how it mocks me when it is sleeping, and how i would burn alive if there was a fire.

bad day at work

Since I didn't get a chance to snap a picture of the place I was working this week, I thought I'd draw a picture. It took me about an hour. It's mostly self-explanatory and as realistic as possible except for the apparent age of the old woman. She is actually 150 years older than she appears in this rendering.

I had to go back today to get pick up some documents and the tiny dog put its paw on my leg. I think it was a silent cry for help; I think it was trying to say, "take me with you, she's crazy and this place is rancid. I cannot live in these conditions!"