oh no. don't do it!

I just realized I didn't copyright my two previous drawings. I know you want to steal them, but don't. They are tiny masterpieces of art and I would cry and cry if I learned somebody stole them.

hahhahahaa. I kid I kid. I don't care if you steal them. Actually, the only reason I put the copyright watermark on my drawings and pictures is to make fun of other people who put it on their pictures that nobody would ever ever want to take. Guess what, I don't want to steal a picture of the cake you made and pass it off as my own. And I REALLY don't want a picture of your kid watching TV. Keep it.

i prefer to work out of the office

I have an office mate. Actually two. One is fine. She doesn't bother me and I don't bother her. The other....the other does bother me. He went on a rampage after I first started working because I would open the blinds and not close them. Evidently the sun shines through and hits his eyes. Whatever. I really don't care. Especially because this only happens during the last hour of the work day and only for about 3 months out of the year. And yet, for an entire year he would remind me that I didn't shut the blinds when I left the prior day. We actually got into an argument about it. I ended it with "I really don't want to argue with you about blinds. THEY'RE BLINDS!!!" I haven't shut the blinds in over 6 months. He hasn't said a word about it.

When I first started (and even to this day), I would leave my laptop on my desk when I left. He was outraged and would constantly remind me that I should be locking it up or taking it home because he knew somebody who had his laptop stolen from his car and he had to pay for it. I would say, "it's fine." he would reply, "okay, i'm just trying to warn you because if something happens, you are responsible for it." SHUT UP!! I don't care!

He also likes to ask me stupid questions while I am working and clearly trying to avoid him, as evidenced by my headphones and obvious lack of interest. I used to use the inner ear headphones, but I could still hear him. I've recently upgraded to the entire-ear-coverage headphones...sadly they don't deter his pointless rhetoric.

Another un-perk of sharing an office with somebody is that on a daily basis I am serenaded by his after-lunch gastrointestinal issues resulting from his appreciation of caffeinated beverages and shitty junk food. yay me.

Enjoy. I sure don't.

not a mom-blog

I've been seeing all these mom-blogs getting lots of attention lately. Evidently some of them make lots and lots of money and get lots of free stuff. That's cool. I'm sure I will want to commiserate with other moms about lack of sleep and sore boobs and stuff when I am a mom. And maybe I'll even write about it. I don't know. Until then...I sleep!

why i usually avoid the beach

On Friday we picked up some In-N-Out and took it to Sunset Cliffs. It was lovely and relaxing.



Today, we headed to the beach because it was a heat wave: 85 degress. The backs of my knees were sweating, alright; it was hot.

This is the chaos that was the beach. This picture doesn't even do the insanity justice. Just try to count the umbrellas. Try it. You can't. Because there are too many. And it was like this in both directions. Usually once you get away from the main beach entrance the crowds thin out. This was not the case.



We found a place just above the crowds on a stretch of mostly uninhabited beach. It was lovely. Except for those raucous teenagers all around us. I am convinced I was never so annoying. Man...I'm old. Don't worry. I didn't try to start anything with them. I kept to myself and instead concentrated on reapplying the sunscreen so the blistering sun wouldn't blister my body.

it hurts to be kicked in the face.

I've been talking about beating people up for a long time. Yesterday, I felt what it is like to be on the receiving end. It hurts.

It occurred during my kickboxing class yesterday when I underestimated the power of my partner's kick, and didn't brace the pads nearly as hard as I should have.

Here is a three-picture breakdown of those 2 seconds.

vegas: it truly is fabulous

Vegas was amazing. For somebody without a desire to gamble, I sure do have a fantastic time each and every time I go. I've been there four times now, all with Natalie. I hope she is cool with accompanying me each and every time I go for the rest of my life, because at this point, it would be strange to go without her.

We drank, lounged by the pool, went to the desert, slept, got pedicures, watched some lame comedy, watched some funny comedy, saw phantom, ate in-n-out multiple times, ate a lot of good steak, made fun of a lot of people, walked the strip with a boombox on several occasions, snacked on delicious queso, went to a mexican restaurant that did not serve queso or alcohol, took lots of pictures, broke a luggage rack, broke a camera, temporarily broke the boombox, got a sweet hotel suite hook-up courtesy of Natalie's dad, and didn't take as many showers as we should have. I'm sure I'm leaving a lot out, but that rounds out the majority of our trip.

Don't remember his name, but I think I look good, so I'm keeping it.

Is there any other possible thing this could mean? I think not.

I truly think the solution to peace in the Middle East is boomboxes for everyone.

After the funny comedy show

I have no clue why I thought a wooden luggage rack would support me.

Have I already mentioned how amazing Vegas was?

Now, three things that perplex me about Vegas, in particular order:

One: small children in vegas

Las Vegas is not Disneyland. It's not Chuck-E-Cheese. It's not even a playground at McDonalds. Why do people bring their small children to Las Vegas? I honestly can not understand how a parent can walk their tiny child through a smoke-filled casino and down the streets that are brimming with drunk people and prostitute calling cards. There are 1,000s of kid-friendly places for kids. Las Vegas is not one of them. I don't want to hear babies or feel bad about cursing when I am in Vegas. Leave your kids home!

One of the cleaner sections of sidewalk

Two: ed hardy & the people wear the hideous works-of-crap

Why does Ed Hardy clothing exist? That blinding junk looks a bedazzler threw up on a tattoo. It makes me want to throw up just looking at it. For some reason, it seems like every time I'm in Vegas there is some sort of Ed Hardy convention going on, because more people wear Ed Harding in Vegas than in any other place I've ever been.

I didn't take a picture of any of these losers, so you know what that means:

Three: m & m store

The store is four stories. I didn't understand the m&m store before going in, and still don't understand it after going in. $120 for an m&m pin tie? $12/lb to create you own assortment of colored m&ms? 30 different m&m christmas ornaments? I like me some peanut m&ms, but I don't need to buy a sterling silver m&m to wear around my neck to prove it. I just go buy a bag at the store for $.50. I guess that's just me.

A LOT of m&ms in one place

In Las Vegas, there is...

rfg is a pia

My motivation for purchasing rfg was two-fold:
1: I didn't want my co-worker thinking I was a heartless person who had no love for pets.
2. I was assured (by said co-worker) that beta fish are extremely low maintenance and low cost.

Timeline:

Thursday: purchased rfg ($).

Friday: rfg would not eat.

Saturday: introduced rfg into his new home. rfg would not eat.

Sunday: purchased colorful rocks ($) for rfg to make his new home more colorful and home-y. purchased water treatment ($). rfg would not eat.

Monday: rfg would not eat.

Tuesday: rft began exhibiting "fin rot", listlessness, and facial mold. rfg would not eat.

At this point my mom had already started referring to rfg as her grandfish, and I didn't want to be responsible for a grandfish's death. Also, I would have really felt awful if I had taken this healthy fish from the pet store and brought him home to die. This little fish was really starting to stress me out. We decided we needed to go back to the pet store and get some professional help.

We took two samples of water for them to test....and left the store with another bottle of water treatment ($), some beta medication ($), and some freeze-dried bloodworms ($).

My idea of cheap and easy pet ownership has now turned into a full-blown investment. All told, we have spent the equivalent of 8 beta-fish in the attempts of keeping 1 beta fish from dying, and we have made 3 trips to the pet store in 5 days. Additionally, we have both been stressing out about the health of rfg. Verdict: beta-fish ownership is neither cheap nor easy.

The good news is that as soon as we got home and put the new food in the bowl, rfg inhaled it; it was as if he hadn't eaten in 5 days... Poor little guy was famished. (He clearly takes after me with regards to his picky eating habits).

Truth be told, we are both stoked that he is eating and is swimming around with renewed energy. Who knew all it would take was some freeze-dried bloodworms to end his hunger strike?

Long live rfg!

red fish george

I was on my way back from hell-A today when my co-worker pulled into Petco to purchase something for his fish tank. We got in the store and he told me I was getting a beta fish. So, I got one.

They were all stacked up in little containers. I found a pretty red one, bought him, and brought him home.



I named him Red Fish. I think he likes it. Maybe he doesn't. I don't know. Fish don't show a lot of emotion so it's hard to tell.



When Brent got home, he said he had already named him (although he didn't even know what I got) George. So, now his name is Red Fish George.

please forgive the harsh lighting and shadows; my home is not a photo studio and I didn't spend too much time setting this up. I kid. I kid. I really don't give a crap about the lighting and I'm sure you don't either. But if you do, whatever. I still don't care.

dear natalie,

Please come back to San Diego. I miss you.

Sincerely,
Tessa


I am clearly not good at centering an image when I can't look through the viewfinder...but we both made it in this shot...only took about 5 attempts. The picture turned out a lot better in my head...

This bird flew dangerously close to our heads, prompting Natalie to shriek in terror, prompting me to shriek in terror. It then proceeded to mock us by standing there and staring at us. I hate that bird.

This night started out very promising, then took a dive off a cliff when some guys wouldn't leave us alone. I blame Natalie since guys stay fa fa away from me when I am on my own. We left the bar and had a lot more fun sitting on the sidewalk. Okay, maybe Natalie wasn't haven't as much fun as I was.

Some very not-nice people are trying to kick these adorable (albeit very smelly) animals off this teeny tiny beach. Stupid people.

About five minutes later she left her purse in the very chair she was sitting in and it was never seen again.

I look very tired (and chubby...I blame the the numerous boxes of gsc I have consumed over the last two months), but I was actually very happy. We were hiking right next to the ocean with amazing views in all directions...

See? Amazing view!

Sweet, sweet pacific ocean, how i love you so.

bw

the ocean rarely disappoints: great views and lovely sunsets

farewell, creepy cat things

I had my last real day of work at the cat den this week. Hopefully, the next time I'm there will be the last and it will only be an hour or so.

I thought I'd do one final post showcasing the weird cat paraphernalia hanging out around the office/house/cat den.

cat. in a box. on a scale. explanation needed, but I don't have it.

um, okay...

that's a lot of fake cats for one shelf.

what. the. hell.

I was starting to think that my inspiration for blogging was coming only from the need to punch people in the face and my dislike of cats. Then I received a phone call. It was from a co-worker. Those two facts alone are clearly not worthy of whipping up a drawing...it was what was happening on the other end of the phone that made me all sorts of uncomfortable, grossed me out, and led me directly home after work to begin work on my latest drawing.

I hope the picture speaks for itself. I spent a lot of time on it...definitely more than I should have considering it is Friday night.


First, let me clarify that she called me. It wasn't as if I caught her at an awkward moment. In her mind, she prioritized calling me, then using the bathroom. Except she didn't do one, then the other; she did them both...at the same time. Second, I wouldn't excuse the situation had I been the one to call her. In that situation she should have ignored the call until she was in a more sanitary environment. Lastly, the answer to your question is yes, I was having a bad hair day.

ihc and chm

(i hate cats and cats hate me)

I was sitting where I was sitting...and the cat (Tiki is what they call it) got on the desk and stood on my papers to eat out of its bowl, completely disregarding my personal space. That made me mad. Then, it walked to the other side of the desk and stared at me like it was going to kill me. That made me uneasy until I remembered that I am me and it's a cat and that I am big and it is small. That made me happy.

As I was adding some digital enhancements to this photo, I realized that I have taken entirely too many cat pictures lately for somebody with such a disdain for cats. I don't want anybody getting the wrong idea about me and cats, so at that moment I took a vow that this will be the last cat picture of Tiki that I take... unless it does something picture-worthy, like a front hand-stand or points a gun at me.

my lungs hate me

I've been trying to capture the air quality in the cat den. The perfect opportunity presented itself the other day.

This is what the air surrounding my desk looked like for about a minute or so after I sat down and stirred up the grossness that resides in the chair.

Note: The particles in this picture were not digitally added. This is real-life, people.

do as i say, not as i do

Everything in this picture is made up except for the fact that I was driving behind a policeman in a police car... and he was talking on a cell phone... while driving. And, I was singing when I saw it.

(It is illegal in California to talk (or text) on a cell phone while driving)

vb 2-month update

Original Visions
Europe/Greece: still haven't been
3 year vision
Natalie and I do have plans to go if we haven't been before we are 30, which we are now planning as a 30th birthday trip.



Hot Body: I think I've gained 2 lbs of non-muscle (aka fat)
2-6 month vision


CPA: haven't started studying
18 month vision

House: still renting
1+ year vision

Chinese baby: haven't adopted one
3+ years vision

New Visions
Fabric strip from the quilt that my mom started making for me approximately 6 years ago: She hasn't told me to take my strip down so I assume her's is still up on her vb.
before-I-die vision

Coldplay Tickets: concert doesn't happen until July
4-month vision

Toddler (that sort of looks like I did when I was little) positioned next to Asian girl symbolizing my desire to have twin girls: not pregnant
3+ year vision


Conclusion
This vision board is crap. None of my visions have happened.

Maybe I have to read the book for the visions to come true.

Or...I could actually work out more than twice a week, start studying, and save more for the house and Europe, etc.

I had hoped that by making this vb I would only have to do half (none) of the work I would have had to do had I not had a vb.

wishes do come true

I'll never forget the day the cat lady told me that she would prefer if I never came back again and had hoped that I was out of her life forever. It was last Friday. Friday the 13th. She told me over the phone, and as I was driving over to her place that afternoon I was wishing that she would lock me out so I would never have to breathe stale cat again. Unfortunately, she didn't. I never gave up hope that one day it could happen though.

Today when I drove up in front of the officw I noticed the door on the gate surrounding the office was closed. The door is never closed. My heart skipped a beat at what that might mean. I walked up and turned the knob. The door was locked. She locked me out.

back in the cat den: part deux

Some things the cat lady has told me this week:

"You can do your exam in the street until somebody lets you in."

"I thought you were out of my life forever."

"You are going to give me another stroke or heart attack, and I am going to die today in this chair."

"I would prefer if you never came back."


Note: I think I may be addicted to posting things on this blog. I apologize, but I will not stop....so maybe I don't apologize. Yeah, I take that apology back.

back in the cat den

As you may know from my dramatic facebook status, I have been working back in the cat den for a couple of days. Today it struck me that my phone has a camera. So, I captured the creature in its habitat.

I was going to take a picture of crazy cat lady, but I thought that would be inappropriate.

The pictures didn't quite speak for themselves, so I've added a couple helpful arrows so you will know where your attention should be directed.

I hope this gives you a clearer idea of how close this cat gets to me, how it mocks me when it is sleeping, and how i would burn alive if there was a fire.