I LOVE GLITTER!

It's true.  I do.  It all started when I wanted to wear some gold glittered shoes for the Lady Gaga concert.  I found some lovely platform heels in a lovely shade of glittered gold.  Unfortunately, those shoes were $150 dollars.  Bastards.  I decided I could probably make some for at least $130 less than that.  So, my search began for some cheap ass high heels.  My non-prayers were answered when I walked into the Spirit Halloween store the day after Halloween.  I found some platform in a hideous patent faux leather white.  At $15 it was like at first site.  I snatched them up and shortly thereafter purchased some gold spray paint and gold glitter.  This is what happened next:

 

After three or four glitter applications, they were ready to take out in public.

Note Natalie's amazing home-made feather shoes to the right

After that I had a pretty intense obsession with spray-painting things gold.  I attacked a lamp, candle holders, a cardboard deer head, some trays, my fingernails, a box, the garbage can (somebody had stolen our last one so I painted our address on it), and a picture frame.  Then I ran out of spray-paint, and my rampage ended.

I made this two-toned glitter headband with some rubbery pieces of glitter paper. 

Hand's off; they're both taken.  Only one by me.

I eventually found a project that called for me to replenish my gold spray-paint: a Gold/Glitter Disco Ball! (I didn't think of it on my own.  I'm not that creative; I found it on Pinterest.) There are two reasons why it appears I went a little lite on the glitter: First, I ran out of glitter.  Second, I believed some packing tape would securely hold the orb to the ceiling.  I was wrong.  It fell, and our living room was glitter-bombed.  I actually didn't vacuum up the glitter after it happened.  Two reasons:  First, I've already told you I'm lazy.  Second, it was our NYE party and I felt it made things more festive.

I was pretty sad when I ran out of glitter, but I didn't run straight to the store to replenish because...I'm lazy.  Also, I kept telling myself that I was going to print those 40% off coupons, and then I never did, and then I never went because I didn't want to pay full price.

While I remained gold glitter-free for a month or so, I curbed my glitter needs with these:

We all lived happy together until I realized I couldn't paint an entire pair of shoes with one tiny bottle.  See...months before I had ruined a perfectly cute pair of nude booties by dropping my black liquid eyeliner on them.  Instead of trying to wipe it off with water, I immediately applied an oily make-up remover to the faux leather.  It didn't take too well, and there was no going back.  I am too cheap to just throw a pair of shoes away that I had only worn once... so I tried to upcycle them into a new color.  I chose blue...solely because that is the color of hair dye I had on hand.  I was dreaming of a deep rich royal blue.  Instead, this is what happened:

 I applied somewhere around three coats and it never got better than this.  :(  I decided to branch out from gold and try black on for a change.  After applying two coats of glue/glitter, I realized I probably ought to have spray-painted them black before I started the glitter application.  No worries, I just sprayed right over the glitter.  That's how lazy people roll.

Then I brushed on one more coat of glue and dumped a bunch of glitter on top.

Me thinks a definite improvement over what I had to start with. I'm pretty happy with how they turned out.  Now I just need to make some friends or get some sort of social life so I can take them off the shelf and out on the town.  Immediately after setting my eyes on these beauties I began looking around furiously to find other things to douse in black glitter goodness.  I searched high and low but couldn't find anything worthy.  Thankfully, BW came home and suggested I revisit the gold dear-head I had previously sprayed gold.  I had already painted the base brown...but wasn't feeling it.  It was a perfect specimen to bask in the glory of all that black glitter has to offer.  

 After I saw how fantastic non-gold glitter could be I hot-footed it right back to the craft store to broaden my glitter awareness.  I came back with this:

Gold, fine gold, black, more black, and brown.  Oh and red glitter-glue.  It wasn't my first choice, but all the red glitter was out...I wish I had never purchased it.  And I'll tell you why.  I want to be able to apply as much glitter as my heart desires to any given surface.  With glitter glue you apply a coat.  Wait for it to dry.  Apply another coat.  Wait for it to dry.  Become incredibly dissatisfied with the amount of glitter on surface.  Cry.  

My plan was to take this print I had purchased for myself on my birthday and turn it up a notch.

I really wanted to just throw glitter all over it.  But I told myself, "show some restraint, woman," and I decided to do something a little more subtle. Enter that shitty glitter glue.  After two coats I was left with this:

Don't tell a difference?  Let me zoom in.  

I hate you red-glitter glue.  You are stupid and barely affect anything you touch.  

I decided it was time to put the painting aside and move on to something else.  Specifically, it was time to get back to where it all started: gold glitter.  I found a couple of things I found that would be bettered with a coat or ten of glitter: some wooden hearts and a pair of red shoes.  

yes those are framed paper dolls. deal with it.

Isn't life better with glitter?  Yes.  It is.  

Then I decided to show some glitter glove to Dwight Schrute. 
 

He's been a constant desk companion for many years and was ready for a makeover.  A glitter makeover. 

He's feeling more confident already. 

After my successes I headed back to the craft store today in search of red (non-glue) glitter.  I found it.  And then some; I found a 30-pack of every color I never knew I needed, but realized I couldn't live without. 

Luckily, two of them were red.  I picked it up and never looked back.  I also found something for Pootie. 

 I keep seeing all these nurseries with the baby's name above the crib.  I guess so it won't ever forget who it is.  idk.  Point is...Pootie never had her own nursery or crib, but she has her own bed... so I figured her bed area could use some personalizing so she wouldn't ever be confused about who she is or where she is supposed to sleep.  She seems pretty happy with it. 

And they came pre-glittered.

It was clearly meant to be.

I have a lot of plans for my new glitter collection.  It mostly starts and stops with using it on my fingernails...but I'm sure I'll think of other things.  Or more likely: I'll find something that somebody else did with glitter on Pinterest and then copy it.

Time to hot orange glitter my nails!

i miss my dog

All alone in a hotel for the week, but it hasn't stopped me from talking out-loud to my dog who isn't here whilst watching some shows online.

I recently had a dream that she could talk.  It was wonderful.  

baby vuka

Just over a year ago our family grew by one.  Her name is vuka, but we mainly refer to her as baby pootie or poot poot, zapootie, little baby poot poot, poots magoots, pootie magootie, jer-poo-jis-tee, pootisserie, or anything else I can think of that I can add "poot" to.

She is very smart and knows sit, lay down, stay, shake, shake other, head down, up, drop it, and high five. BW is currently teaching her how to give eskimo kisses.  

Today I came up with a haiku to tell pootie how we feel about her.  Her frequent toxic gassings ceased a while ago, but the nicknames have stuck, and the memories were burned into our senses with every noxious poot.

going to have to start telling people i'm allergic to animals

I've been working at an office where one of the officers has a dog that she brings to work.  On top of sitting on dog hair while I work, the stupid dog barks at me whenever I walk in the door.  And, it has to get right next to my feet to do it.  Instead of locking the dog in another room, they just say things like, "oh chance, don't bark at her." 

Disclaimer: Despite the abundance of negative pet posts, I don't dislike all animals.  I don't even dislike dogs.  I just dislike this stupid one.  And cats.  And birds.

rfg is a pia

My motivation for purchasing rfg was two-fold:
1: I didn't want my co-worker thinking I was a heartless person who had no love for pets.
2. I was assured (by said co-worker) that beta fish are extremely low maintenance and low cost.

Timeline:

Thursday: purchased rfg ($).

Friday: rfg would not eat.

Saturday: introduced rfg into his new home. rfg would not eat.

Sunday: purchased colorful rocks ($) for rfg to make his new home more colorful and home-y. purchased water treatment ($). rfg would not eat.

Monday: rfg would not eat.

Tuesday: rft began exhibiting "fin rot", listlessness, and facial mold. rfg would not eat.

At this point my mom had already started referring to rfg as her grandfish, and I didn't want to be responsible for a grandfish's death. Also, I would have really felt awful if I had taken this healthy fish from the pet store and brought him home to die. This little fish was really starting to stress me out. We decided we needed to go back to the pet store and get some professional help.

We took two samples of water for them to test....and left the store with another bottle of water treatment ($), some beta medication ($), and some freeze-dried bloodworms ($).

My idea of cheap and easy pet ownership has now turned into a full-blown investment. All told, we have spent the equivalent of 8 beta-fish in the attempts of keeping 1 beta fish from dying, and we have made 3 trips to the pet store in 5 days. Additionally, we have both been stressing out about the health of rfg. Verdict: beta-fish ownership is neither cheap nor easy.

The good news is that as soon as we got home and put the new food in the bowl, rfg inhaled it; it was as if he hadn't eaten in 5 days... Poor little guy was famished. (He clearly takes after me with regards to his picky eating habits).

Truth be told, we are both stoked that he is eating and is swimming around with renewed energy. Who knew all it would take was some freeze-dried bloodworms to end his hunger strike?

Long live rfg!

red fish george

I was on my way back from hell-A today when my co-worker pulled into Petco to purchase something for his fish tank. We got in the store and he told me I was getting a beta fish. So, I got one.

They were all stacked up in little containers. I found a pretty red one, bought him, and brought him home.



I named him Red Fish. I think he likes it. Maybe he doesn't. I don't know. Fish don't show a lot of emotion so it's hard to tell.



When Brent got home, he said he had already named him (although he didn't even know what I got) George. So, now his name is Red Fish George.

please forgive the harsh lighting and shadows; my home is not a photo studio and I didn't spend too much time setting this up. I kid. I kid. I really don't give a crap about the lighting and I'm sure you don't either. But if you do, whatever. I still don't care.